She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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