Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize