Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
