either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
