When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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