I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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