Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
