I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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