I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
