So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
