I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
A bitchslap is in order.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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