i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
