last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
