bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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