is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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