OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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