Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
