as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
