Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
