i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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