got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it was like eating out sand paper
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
