So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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