please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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