Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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