This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize