there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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