It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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