Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
