Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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