I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if i can run in heels then i can drive
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
