Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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