i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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