some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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