Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
