we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
