i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i think my mom watched the whole time
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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