why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
