I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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