Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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