i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my sisters under your porch take her home
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
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