i was born a porn star she said
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
