I bet he comes in French.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
