Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
