I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
