just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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