hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i need some magic done to my vagina
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
