no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
