I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
