You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
