Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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