It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
