Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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