Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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