i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
