how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
