I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
