sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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