he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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