Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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